What You Could Learn from an Infant Observation Seminar 

by Robert G. Kraft, Ph.D. 

 

I imagine most of you have never heard of an Infant Observation Seminar. And even though you 
may have no interest in infants or observing them, you may have an interest in psychoanalytic 
psychotherapy or psychoanalysis. So if you have an interest in becoming a better practitioner, it 
might be worth your while to read further. You may even become involved in a seminar, once 
you find out how powerful the learning experience can be. It is one of the most powerful 
training experiences I have ever had (and I have been through a lot of training, including process 
groups, which are very powerful). 

 

An Infant Observation Seminar is exactly what it says it is: a seminar focused around observing 
an infant. The seminar I am involved in meets for a year with an optional extension of another 
year. You can be in the seminar and actually observe an infant or you can be involved in the 
seminar and never observe an infant. You, naturally, have a fuller experience if you observe and 
are not just in the seminar. The students (limited to six) and the supervisor meet by a joint phone 
call. Actually, in my seminar, we used a conference calling system for the better part of a year, 
but the cost became prohibitive, so now we use Skype (for those of you who have never used 
Skype, it is a free software you download on your computer which allows you, when you have a 
headset plugged into your computer, to call other folks on computers with headsets for freeÑthe 
free part is great, the technology works pretty well most of the time, but we do have to Òhang upÓ 
and start the call over once or twice each time. It is getting better and it works well enough.) 
We talk together, the seven of us (six participants from three time zones and five cities across the 
U.S., one supervisor) for two hour sessions, about twice a month. We spend the first hour 
talking about one studentÕs recent observation and the next hour reviewing a second studentÕs 
observation. The chosen student reads a few paragraphs and then we discuss it. In my seminar, 
five of us now have an infant (or even two infants--one participant observes twins!) so each 
student with an infant presents about once a month. 

 

For those doing the observations, we had to ÒfindÓ an infant. We contacted those we knew who 
might know of an expectant woman who might be willing to have an observer come into her 
home for six months (all we ask for up front is a six month commitment) to Òjust observeÓ her 
infant. Think about that: would you allow a stranger into your home when you just had a baby? 
Many new parents arenÕt able to take on the task, but as you can tell from reading so far, five of 
us have found couples willing to allow us to do just that. You meet with the family initially, 
explain that you would like to come and observe the infant for an hour (or so; different 
participants set up different lengths of time between 45 and 60 minutes). We explained that we 
would act like a Òfly on the wallÓ and that the family should just go on about its business. We 
want to see the infant in his/her natural environment. 

 

Once the initial appointment was completed, then we began our observations. I have had the 
good fortune of seeing ÒmyÓ infant with his father for many weeks, then his mother, many times 
with both, with maternal grandma, the paternal grandpa, and with an adult babysitter on one 
occasion. I have enjoyed it so much and learned so much that I am opting to continue for the 
second year, and my family is willing to have me continue for that time. Realize that once you 
have completed an observation, you have to record verbatim, from memory, what just happened. 


I go out to my car after each observation, write out a note by hand, then go home. I usually have 
about one full page of hand written notes when I finish my notes. I do not type up every 
seminarÕs notes (though at times I wish I did) but only those that I present to the seminar itself. 
In that case, I sit down at the computer and type up my recollection (usually within a few hours 
or days). I email the write-up to the other participants for the upcoming seminar. So the time 
involved is two hours in the seminar twice a month, one hour in observation each week (we miss 
about once a month because of schedules), about 45 minutes each observation to drive to the 
infantÕs home and then to my home, and an hour write-up when I am going to present my 
observation to the seminar. 

 

Those are the details, but what have I learned? This is an experiential seminar, that is, it is about 
the experience of observation and then presenting and processing. We have some readings, but 
they are minimal. (There is plenty out there to read on the subject, if you are interested.) I have 
learned: 

¥ The power of containment is present in infant observation and psychotherapy 
¥ We affect people (patients, infants, mothers, fathers, etc.) even when we are not around 
them except for a very short time every week 
¥ More about the role of being ÒabstinentÓ 
¥ A great deal about parent/child interaction 
¥ A great deal about the thinking and feeling of an infant and how that relates to patients in 
sessions 
¥ That the joy from being around an infant can be tremendous at times 
¥ That the pain in watching parental failure can be overwhelming at times 
¥ How to tolerate crying in a new way 
¥ That we all came from somewhere and that somewhere is important in our lives and in 
the therapy session 
¥ A great deal about my feelings about this infant and his family, which, really are parallel 
if not the same as my countertransference in a therapy session 
¥ That I can watch a mother and child sleep for 55 minutes and not be bored for one second 
of the time 
¥ That watching people love one another is very interesting 
¥ That people go on with their lives even when a stranger is watching their infant 
¥ That you no longer become a stranger at some point when you are just being an observer 
¥ It is very hard to not say more when you want to, but it has helped me grow as a therapist 
to do so (or rather, not do so, not speak) 
¥ I had no idea (denial) that the infant was going to someday crawl right over and touch 
me, which he did recently 
¥ I had no idea (denial again) how much I wanted to touch that infant I had been ÒjustÓ 
observing for seven months until he physically moved toward me and touched me 
¥ My countertransference can be extremely powerful and the more I am aware of it, the 
better 


 

I could go on at length about each one of these bullet points and I could add many more. I still 
have about 16 months of experience to go through, and I am sure I will learn even more. But I 
particularly want to tell you about the joy: I got to see the infant have his first Halloween 


costume put on him (Winnie the Pooh) and crawl over to me in a crazy, silly way (to save him 
from his mom who put the big, fluffy, face-covering thing on him?) and I havenÕt laughed that 
hard in a long time (Mom and I were just rolling on the floor, it was so cute and touching and 
silly and funny). 

 

In summary, the hard work of ÒjustÓ being an observer of an infant is an extremely rewarding 
and powerful way to learn about being an analytic psychotherapist (and about yourself). The 
parallels between infant observation and psychoanalytic psychotherapy are many. Getting an 
experience that allows you to learn about psychotherapy without actually being in psychotherapy 
has tremendous value for anyone willing to look at self and other and learn more about both.